What You Need to Know! 12/30/09

By request, I am bringing back the posting series known as “What You Need to Know.” It is not without nerves though as I think I may have lost some of my funny. (I blame it on decreased levels of alcohol in my system) So I will try to block out the stress from work, the worry of how much milk I’m currently producing and the never-ending grocery list in my head and channel the funnier, carefree, younger (and drunker) me of 3 years prior. Here goes…..

Today is Wednesday December 30, 2009 and it is National Baking Soda Day (or National Bicarbonate of Soda Day for all you Chem majors). A day to put aside our differences and celebrate all the wonderful uses of baking soda… to name a few:
1. Helps baked goods rise
2. Tenderizes meats
3. Removes odors
4. and most importantly, can be mixed with vinegar to create a volcano.

There’s not a whole lot going on in celebrity news other than Tiger going into hiding and Charlie Sheen acting like… well, Charlie Sheen, so I’d like to recap this year with my

Top 9 Favorite Celebrity Stories of 2009:

9. White House Crashers- These people are clearly delusional enough to be worthy of their own reality show… I’d watch.

8. Chris Brown- You suck. The best thing about you is the cool dance the wedding party did to your song… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0 (that was awesome)

7. Michael Jackson- Talk about the story that wouldn’t go away. Larry King is still uncovering breaking news on this one. (too soon?)

6. Balloon Boy- Glad to hear his parents are going to jail but the best thing about this story was Falcon (or Pigeon or whatever is name was) throwing up live on The Today Show and me watching it live wondering why Meredith was continuing with the interview.

5. Jennifer Aniston/John Mayer- This may not seem very exciting to you but hey, this is my list and I will always be interested in who she is dating. I love ya Jen!

4. OctoMom- (or as I prefer, Octopussy). What a crazy! Someone take those kids and remove her uterus pronto!

3. David Letterman- I love me some Letterman and he may have behaved badly but I still love me some Letterman.

2. John and Kate- OMG! Stop Talking! And everyone stop acting like her haircut is trendy and cool. Its bad, REALLY BAD! And is John Gosselin not the biggest douche ever?! The picture of him at the MGM pool hosting a “pool party” pretty much sums up his douchery. I have to admit though, I was addicted to this story.

1. Tiger- The greatest thing about this whole story was that he banged some skank, who was a waitress at Perkins, in his car. I don’t know what’s more troubling… him banging the skank or the fact that Tiger eats at Perkins!

Greatest Hits

Just for entertainment purposes, please read two of my favorite previous posts by Marie and Victoria. I can't wait until I force them to start posting again full-time.

Let's Hug It Out Bitch!

Ah, yes, today is July 26th and the 41st birthday of the glorious creature we refer to as Jeremy Piven. I would like to take today to celebrate all the wonderful contributions he has made to this world by posting the top 5 Ari Gold quotes from Entourage. (Please feel free to post your own favorites)
5. Listen, Lloyd, I want you to put all my files, folders, binders, *everything* into a box! If you find a used condom, an executioner's mask, and a fucking spike paddle, don't think, just pack that bitch! Chop suey!

4. You can have it if you want to live in Agora fucking hills, and go to group therapy, but if you want a Beverly Hills mansion, a country club membership, and nine weeks a year in a Tuscan villa, then I'm gonna need to take a call when it comes in at noon on a motherfucking Wednesday.

3. Yeah, and Hilary Swank has a vagina, but she won an Oscar pretending she has a dick. That's what actors do. They pretend

2. That was a good speech, Lloyd. If I was 25 and liked cock, we could be something.

and finally..... (as previously seen on this blog)

1. You're going to have to call me a lot earlier than 5 a.m to wake me up, you cunt muscle!

Today is actually quite the star studded day with numerous celebrity birthdays.
Kate Beckinsale is 33, Sandra Bullock 42, and kevin Spacey 47.

July 26th is also "All or Nothing" day. I think I pick nothing. Does that mean I get to take a nap now?

In breaking news, Lance Bass of N'Sync has come out of the closet. The first of the five boy banders to go public. Didnt he use to date a bunch of girls???? maybe that was one of those Backstreet boys. I think at least one of them pretends to be straight. But anyway, sorry ladies, we've lost another one.

posted by Victoria at 12:28 PM 1 comments links to this post


Do the humpty-hump. Let’s do the humpty hump! (This one's for you John.)

Happy Hump Day everyone. Bet you didn't know the term hump day was first used by the media in Minneapolis, Minnesota in 1965. Those Minnesotans sure know how to hump.

Wednesday originated from the Middle English (which derived from Old English) word Wednes dei, which refers to the Old German God, Woden. I saw a picture of Woden and I'm pretty sure he was never called Sir Hump-a-lot.

When Sunday was taken as the first day of the week, Wednesday became the middle of the week... a la Hump Day! Ironically, says Wikipedia, Wednesday is also unofficially referred to as the "peak of the week." Yes, how ironic.

All this talk of Hump Day reminds me of that time when Suzanne was 4 or 5 and we convinced her to ask Mom if she wanted to hump her! Should we call you Suzamme, or Humpty, pronounced with a Umpty? Ahhhh...char char char char char!

I like to rhyme,
I like my beats funky,
I'm spunky. I like my oatmeal lumpy.

posted by Marie.

BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND

Dear Three Girls and a Boy enthusiasts (aka Jessica Lovelady, Beth Heppert, and Kerry Cavanaugh),

Thank you for your demands to bring this blog back live and kickin! Beth said it best when she commented that us girls and our boy have had a lot of changes since our last post on my blessed twenty first anniversary of living. We started this blog a few years ago after feeling the need to share our witty, raw humor with the world in hopes that we would be discovered and given the reality show that we so deserve. When months and many hilarious posts passed without a million dollar offer from any big time networks at a prime time hour, our blog fizzled out. This post will be my effort to get the other two girls and our lone boy back on the blogging wagon. Let me take up a little bit more space on the page and little bit more of your time to catch you up on the past three years. Yeah, that's right, three years...we were hip to this blogging game a long time ago.

All girls, except me, and the boy got married in the last year. So, I guess now you could technically say we have two more boys and a girl to throw into the mix. In addition, to the fabulous people who married into the family, we welcomed our first little one, Olivia, who is quite possibly the sweetest and most adorable baby I have ever laid eyes on.

As you can see, our family has been growing and, in return, growing our stories. So fans, aka three people who care about this blog still, keep your demand coming and keep your fingers crossed for more posts from the other members.