What You Need to Know! Week of 1/25/10

There is so much to talk about this week, I dont even know where to begin!

Let's start with some crazy... Octomom's little Octuplets (sp?) turned 1 year old on Tuesday. The kids are doing well (thank god) but Nadya Sulewhocares is unfortunately still their mother. Let's just make a little birthday wish for those little guys that their life isnt as horrible as we imagine it will be.

Speaking of crazy, John Travolta is traveling to Haiti to donate money, medical supplies and resources. He's taking his wife Kelly Preston along with a group of Scientologist healers. Hasnt Haiti suffered enough? I hate Scientologists, even more than the crazy Christian fundamentalists and could blog solely on that topic but seriously?! Those poor people dont need to be pressured into joining a cult. Give them food, medical attention and get the hell out, John. You psycho!

Speaking of Christian fundamentalists, I heard on the radio this morning that Tim Tebow will be doing an anti-abortion commercial during the Super Bowl. I dont know who is funding this effort and I will clearly have more to say about it after I see it, but really Tim. I don't think I need you telling me what to do with my body. Tim Tebow... anti-abortion... Super Bowl... it blows my mind! (Look for my list of my Top 5 Favorite Super Bowl commercials in a couple weeks)

Now for what we all really want to talk about... The Decline of the Brangelina!
I know that Brad and Angelina's split has yet to be confirmed, but if there is one thing I've learned from reading celebrity gossip for the last 20 years is that there is always at least a little nugget of truth in these stories. By March 1st it will all be out in the open- and I will put money on that. I actually used to like them as a couple but she got weird and he can do better. And if he's smart, he'll go crawling back to Jen begging for forgiveness. I look forward to all the scandalous stories and allegations that should accompany this breakup. Who's going to get the kids, why they split, is he going back with Jen, is she in love with a woman? This could keep me riveted until June.

Now for something fun. This was sent to me yesterday and is one of the coolest things I've seen in a while. Enjoy! (I tried to embed the video but couldnt figure it out... sorry... just click the link)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VFrmXB05yU

I'LL TAKE THE PHYSICAL CHALLENGE

This week marks the start of me living my every day life like I am a contestant on Double Dare, except I will never opt to answer the trivia question because I will be embarking each day on a physical challenge.

At the end of last year, after being inspired by roommate Amy and good friend Ashley, I decided I wanted to start training for a marathon. This aspiration came to an end during a nine mile run at 7:30 in the morning when my body was so numb, due to the 19 degree temperature outside, that it collapsed on the side of a major road. Basically I tripped, but was so damn exhausted and cold that rather than trying to regain control I just took the pavement to the face. What can I say? It seemed so much easier than tryin to catch myself. I only hope that my bleeding hips and severe embarrassment scored a few people a solid, "you'll never believe what I saw on my way to work," story.

The longest race I had run before starting this training was a 10K, yeah...you're right...a marathon was aggressive. This being said, I took a short break from running and discovered bikram yoga in the meantime, and as I have previous stated, I am now addicted to the practice. While the 90 minute work out sessions in the HOT room have made me feel amazing, I still can't move past the commitment I made to myself to run a more intense race this year. It is this very reason that I have decided to run a half marathon instead in April (probably a little more realistic). However, I can't give up on my new found love for Bikram, so this week I started my training for the half marathon with high hopes and big dreams of maintaining a minimum of two or three bikram sessions a week.

Now for some of you reading this, you are probably thinking that this sounds easy to accomplish. While I love the feeling of working out, I will opt for a nap any day and any hour of the week over dragging my ass miles down the road in the cold or sweating uncontrollably in a sauna-like room.

I plan on tracking my progress here on the blog. So get ready for all the complaining, hating my life, and most likely let down when my body doesn't transform into looking like Jennifer Aniston's or Megan Fox's. Oh and one rule for those four of you that actually read this thing, you're not allowed to judge me if and when I miss a run or two or am just too damn dehydrated to step into the HOT room.

Cheers and god speed.

So Much for that DVD Collection

Maybe you could call this post a late attempt to jump on the bandwagon, but I honestly would not feel right not posting my sincere sadness that Conan O'Brien will no longer be hosting the Tonight Show. While I can't say it is a frequent occurrence that I am able to stay awake for a full episode of the show, I can say that when I am able to, I have always laughed a hell of a lot harder and an octave higher with Conan as the host instead of Jay Leno.

Growing up we were lucky enough to own the Johnny Carson collector set of dvds. I used to watch them with the two girls and boy and laugh hysterically at Carson's Carnac the Magnificent bit and classic stand up routines by Steve Martin and others. Hilariousness such as this had not graced the presence of the tonight show since Carson's retirement until Conan O'Brien took over the time slot and introduced his puppet hip dance, fabulous hairstyle, and the bear frantically trying to find his cellphone in his fanny pack (aka masturbating bear) to 11:30pm.

I doubt that they will be creating a collector set of dvds from Conan's 7 month stint on the tonight show, but if they do you better believe it will become part of my collection.

What You Need to Know! Week of 1/18/10

I'm very sad to report that I don't have a future working for ESPN as an NFL analyst or at E! predicting award show winners. The Chargers really screwed me on Sunday losing to the Jets, destroying my Superbowl predictions. And out of the 14 Golden Globe categories for which I made predictions, I picked 4 correctly. Sunday was not my day. There is one thing that I am good at, along with the other 2 girls and boy, and that is judging people. So I have made my lists of the Top 5 Worst and Best Dressed from the Golden Globes.

Top 5 Worst Dressed (What kills me is I adore most of the women on this list... why cant they get it together?)

1- Julianne Moore - the seam down the front of the dress is puzzling
2- Julia Roberts - Not bad, just not occasion appropriate

3- Kristen Bell- those shoes don't work

4- Tina Fey- just bad

5- Zoe Saldana- ruffles gone wrong

Top 5 Best Dressed

1- Jane Krakowski

2- Kate Hudson

3- Olivia Wilde

4- Toni Collette

5- Courtney Cox

George Clooney's Hope for Haiti telethon will be on Friday night. Its on all the networks, CNN, MTV and VH1. I'll be watching and I'm sure I'll make a donation... well, because George asked me to.

So I just saw the pictures of Heidi Montag in People magazine after her round of 10 plastic surgeries. I'm so dumbfounded by her, I really don't even know what to say. I've never watched the Hills or The City or The Valley or whatever geographical location she came from so I don't really know her whole story, but I can't seem to understand why she is able to stay around. She is a miserable excuse for a human being married to an even more miserable excuse of a turd, Spencer Pratt. Here is an awesome quote from an interview:

"I'm living in my skin, and I look in the mirror and it's my career and my life, and you only have one. So, I want to take advantage of everything and be the best me, in and out, every way."

She's smart.

At least we can hope that one of her new gigantic boobs will explode and take her out.

Why? Cause it's fun

We all have one. Mine starts with a cup of coffee, yogurt or cereal bought from the office cafe, and a "Good Morning" to all the cubicles I pass as I make my way to my own. It's your morning routine, and if you're anything like me, when something is missing (specifically the coffee) your day doesn't start off quite right.

Regardless of what you're routine might entail, perhaps a trip to an out-of-the-way office bathroom for a little privacy follows your coffee, I have one thing that is a must for all of you to add. Each day after I say my good mornings, I sit down at my desk, turn on my computer, and start the waking up process. I check my emails for anything urgent and then make an immediate move to the Aol Television website. Working at Aol (I know what you're thinking, and yes, Aol does still exist) I have the pleasure of browsing through websites as a part of my actual job. I was doing just that when I stumbled upon the gem that is "TV's Top 5." On the television site there is a channel that does a run down of the top five TV moments from the day before. Sometimes they consist of sitcoms, but mostly just ridiculous moments that happened on TV. With all the recent Late Night controversy (I'm on team Conan and always will be) a lot of the top five picks have been clips from last night's monologues (which have been a real gas lately if you missed them). The website is below. Visit it, love it, bookmark it, favorite it, add it to your 'not doing work at work' list and be jealous that it is actually part of my work. And, lets be honest here, who doesn't appreciate a solid laugh first thing in the morning?! Oh, and, you're welcome.

CLICK ME. TV's Top 5!!

What You Need to Know! Week of 1/11/2010

We are in the second week of the new year and things seem to be getting back to normal. Don’t know if that’s good or bad. Big news this week is the earthquake in Haiti. I’ve seen pictures of the damage online and on the news and its pretty nasty. Here are some websites for organizations providing relief in Haiti. Please donate what you can.
http://www.doctorswithoutborders.org/
http://www.redcross.org/
http://www.unicefusa.org/

On a much lighter note, I’m looking forward to some better gridiron action this weekend since 3 out of the 4 playoff games last weekend were total suckfests. Here are my predictions (Feel free to add your predictions in the comments):

AFC Championship
Chargers over Colts

NFC Championship
Saints over Vikings

Superbowl
Chargers win it all!

Not only is there playoff football to keep you on the edge of your seat this weekend, but the 67th Annual Golden Globe Awards will be held Sunday evening which are just as thrilling to me. As an award show enthusiast, the Golden Globes is my favorite award show because it combines both television and movie awards. I love the red carpet interviews, the fashion, the speeches. Its fantastic! Not to mention the hilarious Ricky Gervais is hosting this year. Its must see tv. And here are my predictions for the Globes:
(I’ll let you know how I did next week)

Best Motion Picture- Drama
Avatar
The Hurt Locker – My Pick (upset!)
Inglorious Basterds
Precious
Up in the Air

Best Actor-Drama
Tobey Maguire- Brothers
Jeff Bridges- Crazy Heart
George Clooney- Up in the Air
Colin Firth- A Single Man
Morgan Freeman- Invictus – My Pick

Best Actress- Drama
Emily Blunt- The Young Victoria
Sandra Bullock – The Blind Side
Helen Mirren- The Last Station
Carey Mulligan- An Educaton – My Pick
Gabourey Sidibe- Precious

Best Supporting Actor
Matt Damon- Invictus
Woody Harrelson- The Messenger
Christopher Plummer- The Last Station
Stanley Tucci- The Lovely Bones
Christoph Waltz – Inglorious Basterds – My Pick

Best Supporting Actress
Penelope Cruz- Nine
Vera Farmiga – Up in the Air
Anna Kendrick- Up in the Air – My Pick
Monique- Precious
Julianne Moore- A Single Man

Best Motion Picture Comedy
500 Days of Summer
The Hangover
Its Complicated – My Pick
Julie and Julia
Nine

Best Actor- Comedy
Matt Damon- The Informant
Daniel Day-Lewis- Nine – My Pick
Robert Downey Jr – Sherlock Holmes
Joseph Gordon-Levitt- 500 Days of Summer
Michael Stuhlbarg- A Serious Man

Best Actress- Comedy
Sandra Bullock- The Proposal
Marion Cotillard- Nine
Meryl Streep – Its Complicated
Meryl Street – Julie and Julia – My Pick
Julia Roberts – Duplicity

Best Series- Drama
Big Love
Dexter
House
Mad Men – My Pick
True Blood

Best Actor- Drama Series
Simon Baker- The Mentalist
Michael C. Hall – Dexter – My Pick
Jon Hamm – Mad Men
Hugh Laurie- House
Bill Paxton- Big Love

Best Actress- Drama Series
Glenn Close- Damages
January Jones- Mad Men
Julianna Margulies – The Good Wife
Anna Paquin- True Blood – My Pick
Kyra Sedgwick – The Closer

Best Series- Comedy
30 Rock
Entourage
Glee
Modern Family – My Pick
The Office

Best Actor- Comedy Series
Alec Baldwin- 30 Rock
Steve Carell- The Office
David Duchovny – Californication
Thomas Jane- Hung – My Pick
Matthew Morrison- Glee

Best Actress- Comedy Series
Toni Collette – United States of Tara
Courtney Cox- Cougar Town
Edie Falco – Nurse Jackie – My Pick
Tina Fey – 30 Rock
Lea Michele- Glee

All About Bikram Too

I read Suzanne's last post about bikram and rather than comment, decided to write my own blog because bikram yoga is that awesome.  I'd done yoga before, but I guess I never had a great teacher because I couldn't get excited about it.  Enter bikram, where you go through 26 poses (twice) over 90 minutes in 105 degree heat with 40% humidity.  I have never experienced anything so physically, mentally, and emotionally challenging. You have to have stamina, strength, balance, and flexibility, but you can't do the physical without deep concentration and meditation.  At times you feel dizzy, nauseous, and weirdly vulnerable, but you can only tell yourself to breathe and keep going. My mind is rarely quiet, but bikram gave me the chance to just be in the moment.

The heat is beneficial because it helps warm the muscles, work deeper, and release toxins through all the sweating. Say what you want about toxins in the body, but I've had a sinus infection for the last 2 weeks. The day after my first bikram class was the first time that I've actually felt better.  I also felt very alert and had a lot of energy. In short, I felt amazing. And in 3 days I've lost 2.5 pounds. I know its just water weight, but it hasn't come back yet, so dammit, I'll take it. 

I am addicted!

Bikram Baby

Every holiday season the three girls and boy (plus spouses these days) draw names for Christmas presents, a budget is set, and the shopping begins. This year a new twist was added to the name drawing when our blessed mother made the rule that all gifts had to be something that bettered our lives in the long run, something for our mind, body, or soul. Marie and I opted for asking for the same gift. We wanted to try our hand at Bikram yoga and requested some free sessions at one of the near by studios.

We took the plunge this week and entered the 102 degree studio for the first time. Prior to going I met Marie at her apartment. As I sat while she gathered her things, our conversation went a little something like this:

Marie: I hope it goes by quickly

Suzanne: It makes me nervous it's an hour and a half

Marie: Look at my huge mat

Suzanne: At least it's yoga. We will get to lay down some.

Brian: I hope you don't pass out

Needless to say, we weren't the most enthusiastic pair.

Fast forward to two hours later..... Marie and I exit the studio able to ring the sweat out of our clothes and feeling pounds lighter. We traded thoughts on the class and found ourselves making plans to go back the next night. We are getting ready to embark on our third class of the week. I think I am addicted. While the half naked yoga goddesses, hot temperature, and the 1.5 hour time frame are all intimidating factors, I figure I'll do just about anything to look like Jennifer Aniston (a Bikram yoga enthusiast).

Don't let the picture at the top frighten you. People do dress in the minimum to come to class, but I have seen nothing like that before (not what I would refer to as a yoga goddess). I recommend going to a bikram class to everyone. It's a nice break from the treadmill or any other normal work out routine.

Us Weekly Delivers Breaking News

In a moment of boredom at work (shocking, I know!) I decided to start perusing my favorite websites (UsWeekly, People, DListed) to see what’s going on in the world (or the world of celebrities and celebrity wanna-bes) and I run across this headline:

Ouch! Channing Tatum Severely Burns His Penis

At first glance, I got excited because I think Channing Tatum is a total hottie and I’m hoping this headline is accompanied by a picture. After reading the entire headline I find myself befuddled, disgusted and a little curious but still kinda hopeful there may be a picture. I know the curiosity must be killing you so here is the whole story:

"Channing Tatum Is Proud of His Package," declares the February issue of Details.
And he should be.
In the issue, the actor, 29, opens up about surviving a painful accident that caused severe burns to his penis.
He had been shooting the drama The Eagle of the Ninth last October in the freezing cold Scottish Highlands.
"The only way to keep warm was by pouring a mix of boiling water and river water down your suit," Tatum, 29, tells the magazine. "We were finally done shooting for the day, and one of the crew guys asks if I want to warm up before I go. I'm like, Nah, I'm good. And then I thought, Why not?
"Thing is, he'd forgotten to dilute the kettle water," he continues. "So he poured scalding water down my suit. And I was trying to pull the suit away from my body to somehow get away from the boiling water, and the more I pulled the suit away, the lower the water went. It just went straight down and pretty much burned the skin off the head of my dick."
He was rushed to the nearest hospital -- an hour away. On the way, however, the ice pack he was applying to the burn lost its chill.
"I said to the driver, who was ex-special-forces Marines, 'You might have to knock me out, because I don't know if I can take the pain. Just grab something and hit me on the back of my head,'" he recalls.
Morphine eventually did the trick, he says, but it was still embarrassing.
"I had five guys looking at my shriveled, burned penis," he says.
Looking back, he says, "It was the most painful thing I have ever experienced in my life."
Rest assured, "I'm good . . . now," says Tatum, a former stripper. "Now my penis is fantastic! One hundred percent recovered. Put me back in the game, Coach."

I really dont have any commentary on this story, just thought that this should be shared.

3 New Shows You Should Be Watching

If there is one thing I know in this world, it's television. It’s my passion, it’s my hobby, sadly it’s my favorite thing to do. I could write a 20 page paper on how the DVR is the greatest technological triumph of my lifetime. So I thought I would share some of my knowledge to better your tv-watching experiences.

There were a lot of good, new shows in the fall. I’m going to skip talking about Glee and Community and give you the 3 best new shows that you may not be watching but should:

1. Modern Family, ABC Wednesday 9:00pm- This one is definitely starting to catch on because so many people are talking about it. It is probably the funniest show on tv right now, period. It is laugh out loud funny and has great lines that you will find yourself repeating every day.
Summary:
This mockumentary explores the many different types of a modern family through the stories of a gay couple, comprised of Mitchell and Cameron, and their daughter Lily, a straight couple, comprised of Phil and Claire, and their three kids, Haley, Alex, and Luke, and a multi-ethnic couple, which is comprised of Jay and Gloria, and their son Manny. These three types of families are being taped by a Dutch documentary crew who are using them for an upcoming reality-based television series due to air in The Netherlands.
Hilarious Clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_CmBsi17_0&feature=related

2. The Good Wife, CBS Tuesday 10:00pm- This show has everything you'd want from a courtroom drama with a scandalous backstory that will keep you hooked. Not to mention the great cast that includes Julianna Margulies, Chris Noth and Christine Baranski.
Summary:
­THE GOOD WIFE is a drama starring Emmy Award winner Julianna Margulies as a wife and mother who boldly assumes full responsibility for her family and re-enters the workforce after her husband's very public sex and political corruption scandal lands him in jail. Pushing aside the betrayal and public humiliation caused by her husband, Peter, Alicia Florrick starts over by pursuing her original career as a defense attorney. As a junior associate at a prestigious Chicago law firm, she joins her longtime friend, former law school classmate and firm partner Will Gardner, who is interested to see how Alicia will perform after 13 years out of the courtroom. Alicia is grateful the firm's top litigator, Diane Lockhart, offers to mentor her but discovers the offer has conditions and realizes she's going to need to succeed on her own merit. Alicia's main competition among the firm's 20-something new recruits is Cary, a recent Harvard grad who is affable on the surface, but is competitive to the core. Fortunately, Alicia finds an ally in Kalinda, the firm's tough in-house investigator. Gaining confidence every day, Alicia transforms herself from embarrassed politician's scorned wife to resilient career woman, especially for the sake of providing a stable home for her children, 14-year-old Zach and 13-year-old Grace. For the first time in years, Alicia trades in her identity as the "good wife" and takes charge of her own destiny.

3. White Collar, USA Tuesday 10:00pm- I would consider this show a dramedy and is very much like Catch Me if You Can. Its fun, there's a little drama and mystery and Kelly Kapowski is in it. (Dont worry, she has a small role)
Summary:
White Collar is about the unlikely partnership of a con artist and an FBI agent who have been playing cat and mouse for years. Neal Caffrey (Bomer), an incredibly charming criminal mastermind, is finally caught by his nemesis, G-Man extraordinaire Peter Stokes (DeKay). When Neal escapes from a maximum-security prison to find his long-lost love, Peter nabs him once again. Rather than returning to jail for his daring getaway, Neal suggests an alternate plan: he'll provide his cunning criminal expertise to assist the Feds in catching other notorious and elusive criminals. Initially wary, Peter quickly finds that Neal provides insight and intuition that cannot be found on the right side of the law.

There are also some new shows coming this spring that look promising.
Parenthood, NBC Premiers March 1st
"Parenthood" is a one-hour drama created by Ron Howard and Brian Grazer inspired by the box-office comedy hit of the same name. This re-imagined and updated production introduces audiences to the very large, very colorful and imperfect Braverman family. The dynamic star-studded cast includes Peter Krause, Lauren Graham, Craig T. Nelson, Dax Shepard, Bonnie Bedelia, Monica Potter and Erika Christensen.

The Deep End, ABC Premiers Jan. 21st
In a city where wealth and power rule, everyone strives to make it to the top. For five eager and attractive law associates, being accepted into one of Los Angeles' most prestigious law firms is the first step on their way up. But as they soon realize, the law offices of Sterling are far more cutthroat than they could have ever imagined and they must fight for themselves and their clients to stay afloat in these shark infested waters.

What You Need To Know! Week of 1/4/10

So the ever so popular What You Need to Know posts will now become a weekly issue. Although I would like to do it daily, it just cannot physically be done. And I cannot promise that the weekly posts will be created on the same day every week. Hey! I’m human and I get moody and this annoyance called my job sometimes gets in my way.

So this is the first week of the new year (how many times have you said 0-ten???) and can we just agree that the first full week back to work after the holidays is probably the worst week of the entire year. I don’t know if it’s the fact that there isn’t a holiday for the next 5 months or just having to do actual work, while at work, for the first time in weeks is what makes it so hard but it sure is a kick in the face.

So I guess the big news of the week is the death of Casey Johnson. If you call a booze-drinking, pill-eating, lesbian for attention idiot biting the dust news. Anywho, I thought it would be fun to take a poll guessing on what the toxicology report is going to say. Here are your choices:
1- (Fill in the blank) mixed with alcohol
2- Prescription cocktail (one of which is a sleeping drug)
3- Something injected with a needle
4- Old school cocaine overdose
Please vote in the comments.

On a lighter, less vicious note Tuesday was Bradley Cooper’s 35th birthday. I am happy to report that over the weekend, Matt and I finally joined the rest of the world and saw The Hangover for the first time. It was spectacular as expected and in honor of the gorgeous Mr. Cooper’s birthday here is a compilation of some of the best lines from the movie: (I love making lists, maybe my posts need some sort of regular countdown…. )

Alan: "Tigers love pepper. They hate cinnamon."

Alan : It's not illegal, it's frowned upon, like masturbating on an airplane.

Sid : Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That shit'll come back with you.

Mr. Chow: You gonna fuck on me?

Phil: Would you please put some pants on? I feel weird having to ask you twice.

Alan: Not at the table, Carlos!

Stu: Doug is probably face down in a ditch right now with a meth head butt-f**king his corpse!

Mr. Chow: Its funny because he's fat!


And here is a picture of Olivia doing her best Carlos impression. (Thanks Erin)

THE NEW SNUGGIE

No, I'm sorry, I'm not talking about a hyperversion of the backwards robe that caused just as much ranting and raving in 2009 as the beanie baby did in 1996. BUT, rather, the latest get fit miracle worker, the Shakeweight. This disco stick shaped weight that vibrates and tones was first shown to me by a friend and I only thought it fair to share its hilarity with the masses (or ya know, the fifteen people that read this blog).

It's a shame that the news of this gem didn't spread before the holidays so it could be a must have item at your office gift exchange or the to-die-for gift in everyone's stocking. My recommendation, go ahead and pick one of these bad boys up and be a hit at the next party you go to (Also available for men).

Check out the video below where Ellen showcased the Shakeweight for her audience and viewers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kmrFBnrkqg

"You might as well call it a hand job cross trainer" - John Quirk